Brenda Blue
by fuzzyfishbowl
Summary: Miranda falls in love with a blue-haired girl named Brenda
1. Abandoned

*Okay, in this story, Miranda realizes something very important about herself.  
  
If you don't like the idea of her being a lesbian, don't read this story!  
  
Part One:  
  
Miranda had trouble getting up that morning.  
  
In fact, she'd had a lot of trouble getting up lately. Why bother? she thought.  
  
There's nothing left for me, anyway.  
  
She didn't know why she was so depressed. Her friends didn't see it: Lizzie  
  
and Gordo were too busy gazing into each other's eyes. Miranda couldn't help  
  
but feel bitter that her friends didn't have time for her now that they'd  
  
been dating. I'm happy for them, she told herself. But they barely talk to  
  
me anymore!  
  
When Miranda got to school, she saw Lizzie at her locker. Alone. How weird.  
  
"Oh, hey, Miranda!" Lizzie called when she spotted her friend. Miranda went over  
  
"Gordo's sick today," Lizzie said automatically. She sighed. "I miss him already."  
  
"Oh," Miranda said. So that's why she's talking to me. Her boyfriend is gone  
  
today.  
  
Lizzie frowned. "Miranda, are you okay?"  
  
Miranda was not okay. She was really pissed. And she wanted to tell Lizzie,  
  
"No, I'm NOT okay. I haven't been okay for a long time. And you just now noticed,  
  
because your loverboy isn't here."  
  
But she didn't say that. Although she was normally confrontational and open,  
  
she just felt too exhausted to care. "I'm fine."  
  
"Oh." Lizzie didn't press any further. She'll probably sniff around for clues,  
  
that's her way, Miranda thought. Until Gordo is better, that is.  
  
The girls went to class, and Kate Sanders went over to them. "Lizzie, where's your  
  
little boy-toy today?"  
  
"He's sick," Lizzie said timidly.  
  
Kate gave up on insulting Lizzie and turned her sights on Miranda. "Wow, Miranda,  
  
you look horrible today!"  
  
"Thanks," Miranda said, walking away. Lizzie went after her, leaving Kate stunned.  
  
Even she could tell that Miranda wasn't right: normally, she's shot back some  
  
nasty comment.   
  
Lizzie decided that enough was enough. "Miranda, what's WRONG? You didn't even  
  
try to fight Kate back there!"  
  
Miranda sat down at her desk and dug into her backpack. "What's the point?" she  
  
blurted out.  
  
Lizzie was shocked. Is Miranda...suicidal? Why didn't I see it before? she thought.  
  
Because I've been so self-centered lately! Stupid me!  
  
"Miranda," Lizzie said softly. "I know I haven't been a very good friend lately.  
  
I'm sorry."  
  
Miranda sighed and looked at her. "It's not about that. Lizzie...I don't KNOW what's  
  
wrong with me. It feels like...something's missing, you know?"  
  
Lizzie didn't know. Her life was perfect. She had a good family, good grades, a sweet  
  
boyfriend. Miranda had a good family, and her grades weren't too bad. And do I even  
  
WANT a boyfriend? she thought.  
  
Ethan Craft walked into the room. Lizzie didn't gush over him like she used to,  
  
now that she and Gordo were together. But Miranda still did. Have I ever really been  
  
attracted to him? she thought. Not really...  
  
Miranda wondered what was going on. She used to want a boyfriend, really bad. Why?  
  
Because everyone eles had one, she thought. But now...it doesn't seem to matter.  
  
Suddenly, the answer was clear. The new girl, Brenda Peters, walked in. Miranda  
  
had become friends with her, and sat with her sometimes when Lizzie and Gordo got  
  
too mushy. Brenda was really pretty: she had a pixie hair cut, dyed blue. Her eyes  
  
were the color of milk chocolate, and huge. She had tan skin, which she confided  
  
in Miranda was due to her addiction to tanning beds. Her clothing was mainly  
  
t-shirts from Salvation Army and Goodwill, and jeans and her "retro" tennis shoes.  
  
She was the coolest person Miranda had ever met.  
  
And just then, Miranda realized that she was in love with her.  
  
Read and review, thanks! 


	2. A New Friend

Part Two:  
  
Well, Miranda couldn't help being freaked out. I can't like Brenda! she thought.  
  
Brenda's a girl! That's so...  
  
But then, Miranda remembered a time when she was 10. She was sleeping over at  
  
Lizzie's house, and they were in her room changing into their pajamas. Lizzie  
  
had taken off her shirt, and Miranda just looked at her chest. Lizzie hadn't noticed,  
  
but Miranda couldn't stop thinking about it. Luckily, Lizzie turned around to change  
  
into her pajama bottoms, so Miranda didn't see anything eles.  
  
So I stared at Lizzie's chest when I was ten! Miranda thought. That's doesn't make me,  
  
um, a lesbian or something, does it?  
  
But the more Miranda thought about it, the more she couldn't help thinking: maybe I am  
  
a lesbian.  
  
When class was over, Miranda quickly went over to her blue-haired friend, leaving Lizzie  
  
behind. "Hey, Brenda!" she said.  
  
Brenda smiled. She has a great smile, Miranda thought. "Hey, Mira." She calls me Mira!  
  
I love that! "So," she said, as they headed into the hall, are you gonna eat lunch  
  
with me today?"  
  
Wouldn't miss it for the world, Miranda thought. She said, "Yeah." But then she remembered  
  
Lizzie. "Um...do you mind if Lizzie sits with us? Gordo isn't here today, and..."  
  
"Oh," Brenda said. Is she disapointed? Miranda thought. But Brenda cheered up. "Hey, the  
  
more the merrier, right? Same table as before?"  
  
"You bet." And the girls parted ways.  
  
"Miranda!" Lizzie called, impatient. Miranda cringed. Oops, forgot her...just like she's  
  
been forgetting me.  
  
"Sorry, Lizzie. Hey, you wanna eat lunch with me and Brenda today?"  
  
"The blue-haired girl?" Lizzie seeemed wary.  
  
"I've been eating lunch with her a lot lately." You just haven't noticed because you  
  
are Gordo are too lovey-dovey. "She's really nice, Lizzie. You should meet her."  
  
"Okay," Lizzie said. She hid her disapointment. She still felt guilty about shutting  
  
Miranda out lately, and had wanted to eat lunch with just her that day. Maybe Brenda  
  
is her new best friend now, Lizzie thought. Serves me right.  
  
They met Brenda at her table at lunch. "Hey, Mira!" Lizzie thought, Mira? Whose Mira?  
  
"Hi, Lizzie."  
  
"Hi," Lizzie said, ever the nice one. But that was all she got to say to Brenda all  
  
during lunch. She and Miranda immediatly launched into some conversation about a Canadian  
  
TV show that Lizzie had never heard of. She felt so left out.  
  
"Did you see the episode where Marco comes out of the closet?" Brenda said. "I love that  
  
one."  
  
"I missed it," Miranda said. She was interested.  
  
"Yeah, it's a good one. I think it'll be on on Friday," Brenda said, biting into her  
  
granola bar. Brenda was a health freak. "I totally respect people who are brave enough  
  
to come out."   
  
"Seriously?" Miranda started to hope, Does she feel the same way I do?  
  
"Yeah," Brenda said. "I mean, why hide your feelings, you know?"  
  
"I know," Miranda said. And they shared a very meaningful look. Miranda wasn't sure how  
  
to take it. Does that mean she...  
  
Lizzie didn't notice the girls' connection. She was too busy munching her fries and  
  
staring off into space, thinking about Gordo. Sigh.  
  
After school, Lizzie went home quickly and called Gordo. He sounded hoarse. "Please tell  
  
me you're coming to school tomorrow!"  
  
"I dunno," Gordo said. "I still don't feel too good..."  
  
"Oh, man!" Lizzie said. "I don't know if I can take it anymore! I ate lunch with  
  
Miranda and that new girl, Brenda, today. And they totally ignored me!"  
  
Gordo got real quiet before saying, "Now I guess you know who Miranda must've felt."  
  
"Yeah," Lizzie said. "I didn't realize how rude I'd been until today. Miranda looked totally  
  
upset, and I had no idea why because...I've been a horrible friend."  
  
"Lizzie..." Gordo didn't like to hear his girlfriend so upset. "It's not all your fault.  
  
It's mine, too. We should make it up to her."  
  
Lizzie felt tears fill her eyes. "It might be too late. Brenda is her new best friend."  
  
When Lizzie got off the phone, she was so depressed.  
  
Meanwhile, Miranda was happy. It was like she and Lizzie had switched emotions that day.  
  
After school, she went to Brenda's house to study for a math test. They both sucked at the  
  
subject, but they figured they could help each other.  
  
But instead of studying, they listened to music in Brenda's room. She was into oldies,   
  
music that was made around the same time a lot of her shirts were. Right then, they  
  
were listening to Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here" album. Brenda liked record players  
  
better then CD players. "You get the real sound," she'd once said when Miranda first came  
  
over.   
  
The record player, and a lot of Brenda's CD's, had belonged to her dad. He'd left them to  
  
her when he'd died the year before. That's why she and her Mom and older brother Jude had  
  
moved.  
  
Brenda stood in front of her full-length mirror. Urg, she thought. I'm so fucking fat.  
  
She didn't say this out loud: she didn't want Miranda to launch into a big, "You are so  
  
not fat you're a fucking stick" speech that all her old friends used to say.  
  
Mira is so cool, Brenda thought. She looked above her reflection to see Miranda, sitting on  
  
the bed, reading a magazine. Brenda had been wondering lately if she was attracted to  
  
Miranda as more then a friend. It wouldn't have been her first girl crush: she'd had  
  
a crush on a girl at her old school, too. This girl had found out, and been disgusted. "Yuck,  
  
I can't believe a dike likes me!" she'd yelled out when a friend told her.  
  
Luckily, it was one of the last days of school, and Brenda's family had moved that summer.  
  
I can't let Mira find out how I feel about her, Brenda thought. I don't want to lose   
  
her as a friend. She decided that she'd rather keep her feelings hidden and get to   
  
hang out with Miranda then to tell her and have Miranda hate her.  
  
"So," Brenda said, "I think I might get my tongue pierced," Brenda said. Miranda looked up.  
  
"Really? That'd be cool. But...would your mom let you?"  
  
Brenda smiled sadly and sat down on the bed. "The only good thing about having a parent die  
  
is that the other parent bends over backwords to please you." Miranda felt so bad for her:  
  
it must be so hard to lose a parent, she thought.  
  
"Besides," Brenda said, recovering. "My birthday is coming up. My mom will let me do  
  
it as a present."  
  
"Oh, are you going to have a party?"  
  
"I haven't made very many friends here so far," Brenda said. "I wonder why that is?" She was  
  
always joking that everyone was intimidated by her style. "But maybe I'll have a small little  
  
thing. I could invite you, of course. And your friends, Lizzie and Gordo," she added.  
  
"You don't have to..." Miranda said. She knew that Brenda and Lizzie hadn't really clicked.  
  
Brenda seemed to read her mind.  
  
"I haven't gotten to know Lizzie yet, but Gordo is cool. I think I'll invite Parker-"  
  
"EW!" Miranda exclaimed.  
  
"What? Parker's not that bad."  
  
"If you say so."  
  
If Mira doesn't want me to invite Parker, then I won't, Brenda decided. Then an idea  
  
came to her.  
  
"I'm actually not in much of a party mood," she said. "And I don't know if my  
  
mom would be up for it. But maybe we could do something...just the two of us."  
  
Miranda felt like her dreams had come true. Just the two of us... "Sure, whatever you  
  
want to do is cool with me."  
  
Brenda smiled. "Well, I'll think about it later. We better get back to math now."  
  
The girls tried to study, but the thought of the coming event made them both  
  
very distracted.   
  
In a good way.  
  
Read and review, thanks! 


	3. Suprises

Part Three:  
  
Miranda started hanging out with Brenda more and more, and Lizzie less and less.  
  
She missed her best friend...but Lizzie doesn't notice I'm gone anyway, she told  
  
herself. Besides, time with Brenda was heaven to Miranda.  
  
Brenda felt the same way. Usually, she and Miranda ate alone, talking about their  
  
favortie TV show, "Degrassi: the Next Generation", or the music they both liked.  
  
Miranda was listening to Led Zeppelin and Queen, and Brenda had been turned on  
  
to Boxcar Racer and Less then Jake.  
  
Sometimes, their alone time was broken. Sometimes Tudgeman or Parker when come over  
  
to ask Brenda for homework. Tudgeman, needing help with homework? Miranda thought.  
  
Then she realized: Tudgeman likes Brenda. And she coudn't help feeling jealous.  
  
Brenda's birthday was a month away, but they still hadn't decided what to do  
  
yet. Miranda had been listening to an classic rock station, to impress Brenda, when  
  
she heard that the Eagles were coming to their town, and the radio station was giving away  
  
free tickets!  
  
One morning, Miranda heard it: "Okay, everyone, what you've all been waiting for:  
  
we're giving away two front row tickets to the Eagle's concert. They're coming to  
  
town on October 22. The tenth caller with the answer to this question wins: what was  
  
the Eagles most popular song ever?"  
  
"'Hotel California'!" Miranda exclaimed. She grabbed the phone. Please, please, please...  
  
"Hello?" the DJ said. "Who is this?"  
  
"Miranda Sancez. Am I caller 10?"  
  
"You sure are!" Miranda kept her cool. "Do you have an answer?"  
  
"Is it "Hotel California"?"  
  
"Well, Ms. Sancez, it looks like you're going to see that and many other songs at  
  
the concert." Miranda didn't keep her cool this time.  
  
It was a Saturday. She and her mom went to claim the tickets, then Miranda spent the whole  
  
weekend dying of excitment. Even though she spent the night at Brenda's that night,  
  
she managed to keep the secret.  
  
A week later, she and Brenda were talking about Brenda's birthday plans. "I wish we could   
  
go to the Eagles concert, but all the tickets sold out last weekend..."  
  
"Um, Brenda?" Miranda reached into her backpack and pulled out the two tickets. Brenda was  
  
stunned.  
  
"You...How did you...Where?"  
  
"I won them on the radio last week."  
  
"FRONT ROW TICKETS?" Brenda screamed. She hugged her friend. "Oh, Mira, you're totally  
  
the best!"  
  
Miranda felt good for making Brenda so happy. She loved to see the glow in her  
  
chocolate eyes, and the flush in her thin cheeks. She's so pretty, Miranda thought.  
  
"So, you like it?"  
  
"LIKE it? I LOVE it? Oh, Mira." Brenda had to stop herself from saying, I love YOU Mira.  
  
She didn't want to freak her out.  
  
Lizzie had heard about the concert, and that Brenda and Miranda were going together. She  
  
couldn't help feeling jealous, even though she didn't know who the hell the Eagles were.  
  
She liked that Miranda was happy again, but...she hasn't spoken to me in over a week! Lizzie  
  
thought sadly.  
  
Gordo tried to take Lizzie off the subject, but he was upset, too. After all, he was just as  
  
much to blame for Miranda turning away from them, and felt just as bad. But he thought to himself,  
  
sadly: Friends grow apart. Lizzie and I are a couple now, and Miranda has new friends.  
  
But he still wished there was something he could do.  
  
He was partners with Brenda in science, since neither Miranda or Lizzie were in that  
  
class with him this year. He decided to ask her about it. "So..." he said as they did an  
  
experiment one day. "You and Miranda have been spending a lot of time together lately."  
  
Brenda felt her whole body turn cold. Did he suspect something? "Yeah, so?"  
  
"Well, Lizzie and I...we used to be her best friends."  
  
Brenda felt a pang of guilt. "I'm not trying to steal her away or anything..."  
  
"That's not what I'm trying to say," Gordo assured her quickly. "Maybe...the four of us, you   
  
know, me, you, Miranda, and Lizzie, could get together and do something sometime?"  
  
Brenda thought it was a good idea. She knew that Miranda missed her friends, just like Brenda missed  
  
her friends back at her old school. So they agreed to get together after school and go to the  
  
Digital Bean.  
  
Brenda had never been there before. She was in awe of the computers and stuff. "There wasn't a   
  
place like this at our old town," she explained when they sat down at a table. "The coolest thing  
  
to do was get self-serve ice cream at the gas station. Like, the town is itty-bitty." She pinched  
  
her fingers together to emphasis.  
  
"Oh, ice cream's cool," Lizzie said, clearly uncomfortable. "How many flavors did they have?"  
  
Miranda wanted to shoot her. Dumb question, Maguire, she thought.  
  
But Brenda took it good. "Well, let's see...there was vanilla, chocolate, and vanilla-chocolate swirl.  
  
That's about it."  
  
"Yeah, thank God for caffeine-filled beverages in dozens of flavors," Gordo said, handing Brenda a   
  
menu.   
  
Brenda scanned the list. "Holy freakin' shit! Look at all these flavors."  
  
"What, you've never heard of mocha-cafe-swirl?" Miranda teased. "Geez, girl, you were quite sheltered."  
  
Brenda frowned at the menu. "By the looks of this, it was better that way." She made a face and decided  
  
to order a fat free hot chocolate.  
  
Gordo and Miranda both seemed at ease with the new girl, but Lizzie was still uncomfortable. I guess we  
  
just weren't meant to be friends, Lizzie thought sadly as she watched her best friend chat with the girl.  
  
No, ex-best friend, Lizzie thought sadly.  
  
When she got home, she cried again.  
  
Read and review, thanks! 


	4. Confession

Part Four:  
  
The day of the concert, aka Brenda's birthday, Miranda nervously picked  
  
out an outfit. This was more important then any dance or date. This was  
  
her first "date" with Brenda.  
  
Yeah, I'll bet that's the way she feels about it, Miranda thought  
  
sarcasticly.  
  
If she only knew...  
  
Brenda was digging frantically through her walk-in closet, sifting through  
  
piles of vintage shirts and jeans, looking for something nice to wear. I  
  
wish I had something like Miranda's to wear, just for tonight, she thought.  
  
That inspired her to head over to Miranda's house.  
  
When she answered the door, Miranda was shooked to see her. "You have to  
  
let me borrow something to wear," Brenda said. "I have, like, nothing   
  
concert-worthy."  
  
"Sure, come on in."  
  
"For this, I'll help you do something with that hair of yours," Brenda   
  
joked as they climbed the stairs.  
  
"Hey, what's wrong with my hair?" Miranda said in mock anger.  
  
"Oh...nothing, hun."  
  
Miranda had decided on her outfit: a black and pink striped tank top  
  
and long, baggy black pants. "I actually do need some help with my hair,"  
  
she admitted. "I wanna put some pink extentions in, to match my outfit."  
  
"Okay, we'll do that...after I find something to wear!" Brenda dug around  
  
her room. Miranda didn't object as clothes were tossed all over. Brenda  
  
finally decided on a pair of camo capris and a tight black shirt. "We look  
  
like we're going to a fucking Avril concert," she joked.  
  
"Avril sucks."  
  
"Agreed."  
  
Brenda spent some time twisting and braiding the pink extensions into   
  
Miranda's hair. Miranda knew that she didn't really need the help: she just  
  
wanted Brenda to do her hair.  
  
Brenda decided to put her short, blue hair in little ponytails, like a   
  
bunch of blue sprouts sticking out of her head. She had Miranda do it. "Ouch,  
  
Mira, not so damn tight!" she'd say, and Miranda would apologize quickly.  
  
The girls walked to the concert, because the arena was close to Miranda's   
  
house. The place was packed with not only adults, but kids their age, too.  
  
"Wow, where do all these kids with good music taste go to school?" Miranda  
  
wondered out loud.  
  
"Certainly not to our school."  
  
The concert was great. Brenda had the time of her life, closing her eyes and  
  
listening to all the great songs. Miranda didn't know most of them, just the  
  
ones on the "Hotel California" CD that Brenda had lent her. "I'll never loan  
  
you my record, though," she'd said.  
  
"That's okay, I don't have anything to play it on!"  
  
After the concert, it was dark. "Do you want to call your mom or something?"   
  
Miranda asked. They were spending the night at Brenda's, and she lived a   
  
little further from the concert sight.  
  
"No way! It's a gorgeous night!" Brenda was in a great mood, skipping around.  
  
"I can't wait to get my tongue pierced tomorrow! You have to come with me,  
  
it's gonna hurt like HELL!"  
  
"Yeah, I'd hate to miss the chance to see you cry."  
  
"You're so horrible!" Was it Brenda's imagination, or was Mira flirting with  
  
her? Please, let it be true...  
  
The walk was really nice. The girls talked and laughed and "flirted" the whole  
  
way.  
  
Suddenly, on the corner of Brenda's street, she made a big decision. "Mira,"  
  
she said, stopping. She grabbed her friend's arm.  
  
Miranda stopped, surprised. "What is it, Brenda? What's the matter?"  
  
"I-I had a really great time tonight," Brenda said, shaking.   
  
Miranda smiled. "I'm glad."  
  
"I just don't know how to thank you," Brenda said. "And...I'm hoping this will  
  
do." With that, Brenda leaned and in kissed Miranda. Much to her pleasure, Mira  
  
didn't push her away: she kissed back.  
  
"Wow," Miranda said when it was over. "So...you feel the same way I do?"  
  
"Yes!" Brenda said, gushing. "Oh, Mira! I've had a crush on you ever since I  
  
met you."  
  
"I didn't realize I liked you, until about a month and a half ago," Miranda  
  
admitted.  
  
Brenda smiled. "So, what now?"  
  
"Um...I guess we're...girlfriends, or something?"  
  
Brenda's smile faded. "I'm not quite sure how this all works. I've only liked  
  
one other girl before, and she turned out to be a bitch."  
  
"It doesn't matter how it "works". We can do whatever we want." Miranda was so  
  
happy.  
  
But Brenda frowned now. "I don't know if we can tell anyone yet, though." As  
  
much as Miranda hated to admit it, she had to agree. It was easier for a TV  
  
charactor to come out then in real life, she thought sadly.  
  
Read and review, thanks! 


	5. Pierced

Part Five:  
  
They held hands all the way up Brenda's street. The lights were on, so they   
  
dropped hands before going inside.  
  
"Mom?" Brenda called. "You home?"  
  
"In the kitchen, dear," Brenda's mother called. They headed into the kitchen, to  
  
find her mom and Jude, her 17-year-old brother, standing next to the table. On   
  
it was a birthday cake: white frosting with blue icing that read: HAPPY 15TH   
  
BIRTHDAY, BRENDA BLUE! A picture of a girl with short blue hair was drawn in  
  
various colored icing, by Jude.  
  
There were blue candles on the cake, and Miranda joined in the "happy birthday"  
  
song. Brenda was blushing as she blew out her candles.  
  
"Thanks, you guys. But I'm not in the mood for cake now..."  
  
"Come on, Bree," Jude said. "I want cake! And you know the rule: birthday person  
  
first."  
  
"Fine." Brenda looked a little pissed as she cut off a small piece. She snarfed it  
  
in one bite. "There, dig in."  
  
Miranda had a nice-sized piece, the one with Brenda on it. Brenda made screaming   
  
noises and Miranda "ate" her.  
  
Before going to her room, Brenda went to the bathroom. "You can borrow a pair  
  
of my pajamas, you know where they're at," Brenda said.  
  
Miranda went to Brenda's room, thinking about how mad she'd been about eatting some  
  
cake. She doesn't like to be forced to do things she doesn't want to do, Miranda  
  
tried to tell herself. But she was a little worried.  
  
Brenda returned, grinning. Miranda had already changed, so Brenda went into the   
  
walk-in closet to change by herself. Even though Miranda was her girlfriend, she didn't  
  
want to be parading her "fat" body around.  
  
They climbed into her bed together. "Goodnight," Brenda whispered with a giggle. The  
  
lights were turned out. She leaned over and kissed her again. "Hey, Mira?" she said  
  
after a minute of akward silence.  
  
"Yeah?" Miranda replied.  
  
"I want you to come with me tomorrow," Brenda said. "To get my tongue pierced," she   
  
added.  
  
"Okay."  
  
Another akward silence. Miranda was still thinking about Brenda's behavior. "Mira?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Are you tired?"  
  
"Yeah," Miranda lied. "Good night." They kissed again, and Brenda went to sleep. But   
  
it was a little harder for Miranda: the events of the night kept her awake.  
  
The next morning, the girls got ready and dragged Brenda's mother to the piercing  
  
parlor.  
  
Brenda began to get nervous as the man prepared the needle. She held Miranda's hand:  
  
partially because she was nervous, and partially because Mira was now her girlfriend.  
  
"It's okay," Miranda whispered as the man clamped her tongue. Brenda closed her eyes,  
  
and:  
  
it was over. Brenda had a silver metal ball on her tongue. She stood in the mirror,  
  
sticking it out to admire it. Her mother rolled her eyes, smiled, and payed for the  
  
piercing.  
  
Brenda had trouble talking all day, but she and Miranda hung out. While Miranda ate  
  
lunch, Brenda drank some Diet Coke. At least it's an excuse not to eat today, she thought  
  
to herself.  
  
Miranda had to go home that afternoon. "I haven't even started my science project, and  
  
it's due in two days." So she left. She forgot about her worries of the night before,  
  
and remembered that she and Brenda were girlfriends now.  
  
She was scared and happy, all at the same time.  
  
Read and review, thanks! 


	6. Disapointment

Part Six:  
  
Miranda and Brenda managed to keep their relationship a secret. Actually, it wasn't too hard in their sheltered community. Anyone that looked at them wouldn't think, Oh, what a couple of dykes! They'd all think, naively, Oh, those girls must be such good friends!  
  
Only Jude suspected anything. Even though Brenda and Miranda had sworn to keep it a secret, Jude confronted Brenda and she confessed. Jude got a funny look on his face.  
  
"You can't tell Mom," Brenda said quickly. "Please..."  
  
Jude shook his head. "I won't."  
  
"So...how long have you suspected it?"  
  
"Um...I actually suspected that you were a lesbian a long time ago. Like, back in our old town."  
  
Brenda was relieved that Jude was keeping it a secret. Miranda didn't mind that he knew: it sorta proved to her that Brenda wasn't ashamed of their relationship, after all.  
  
Until, that is, the winter dance was announced.  
  
It would be a "semi-foraml": girls in nice dresses, guys in button down shirts and black pants. But still, it was the sort of dance that almost required a date.  
  
One day at lunch, Brenda and Miranda were eatting when Tudgeman came over. "Brenda, can we talk for a sec?" he asked. He glanced at Miranda. "Um, in private?"  
  
"Sure," Brenda said, getting up. Miranda's eyebrows shot up, but she wasn't too concerned. Maybe he is having trouble in a class, and he doesn't want to wreck his reputation, she thought.  
  
But when Brenda got back, she was frowning. "You'll never guess what Larry wanted."  
  
"Um...what?"  
  
"He, um, asked me to the Winter Dance."  
  
"And you said "no", right?" Miranda said. "I mean, you're my date."  
  
"But, you know, we have to keep our secret underwraps, you know?" Brenda chewed her thumbnail nervously. "Going together would be like coming out of the closet, and I don't think I'm ready for that."  
  
"So, what did you tell him?"  
  
"I...said I'd think about it." Brenda started talking really fast: "But I'll say no if you're not okay with it."  
  
"No," Miranda said. "Just...go with him. I'll find a date." She's is ashamed of us, Miranda thought sadly.  
  
"Please don't be upset," Brenda begged. "I'm thinking of us."  
  
"I know." Miranda stood up. "I have to finish my homework thing. See you."  
  
Brenda was so worried that Miranda was mad at her. She didn't act mad later, and she even found her own date to the dance. But Brenda knew that she was upset: she was quieter then usual, and didn't seem to want to kiss her anymore. Brenda desperately wished that she hadn't accepted Tudgeman's offer to go to the dance, but...she didn't want people to know her sexuality and make fun of her and Miranda.  
  
Meanwhile, Gordo and Lizzie were preparing for the dance, too. Lizzie wished that Miranda would go with them, like old times, but their friendship seemed over. It had been reduced to a "say hi in the hall" relationship. Lizzie tried to be happy that she and Gordo were going together, as a couple, but it wouldn't be the same without Miranda. She knew that she was going with Cody, the same guy that she'd gone to the spring dance with the year before.  
  
But Lizzie decided that Gordo was right: things change, she thought sadly. Time to move on, Maguire. Stop wallowing in your own pity, and try to have fun with your great boyfriend.  
  
It would be very hard, though... 


	7. Reunion

Part Seven:  
  
Miranda pretended not to be upset about Brenda's decision to go to the dance with Tudgeman. In fact, she had managed to get a date with Cody, the guy she'd gone to the spring dance with the year before.   
  
But Brenda could tell that Miranda was not okay with this. In an attempt to make up for it, she offered to go dress shopping with her. "Maybe we'll find something that looks halfway decent on you!" she joked. Miranda gave her a weak smile.  
  
At the mall, Miranda was hauling a few more dresses to the dressing room of the fifth store they'd been to. Brenda, of course, had found her "perfect" dress right away: a one-shoulder black dress with a slanted bottom. But Miranda just couldn't find the one that was right for her.  
  
She tried on a midnight-blue dress with a high neckline and a long skirt. Sorta plain, but I could always play it up with accessories, she thought. She went out to show Brenda, but she wasn't there.  
  
Lizzie was.  
  
As it turns out, Lizzie and her mom were shopping for dresses, too. Lizzie had just stepped out of her dressing room, wearing a sparkling pale pink dress that screamed "Lizzie". When she saw Miranda, she smiled nervously.  
  
"Oh, hey Miranda. I was just, um, getting my dress."  
  
"Wow, Lizzie, that dress is perfect for you."  
  
"Really?" Lizzie spun around to reveal the low dip in the back.  
  
"Yeah, it's adorable."  
  
Lizzie examined her ex-best friend. "I really like that one on you, too."  
  
Miranda looked thoughtful. "Yeah, it's okay. But there's this other one I like better. Want me to show you?"  
  
"Sure!" Lizzie said, almost too eagerly. We're shopping together...sorta, Lizzie thought happily.  
  
Miranda came out in a strapeless, short, red dress with black polka dots. When she'd picked it off the rack, she'd thought, this is so hip, I have to have it! Now that she had it on, she thought: ick.  
  
Lizzie seemed to agree, but said so more politely. "Um...it's very...I think you should go with the other one."  
  
Miranda grinned. "I totally agree."  
  
"Miranda?"   
  
Lizzie's heart sank as Brenda appeared. "Oh, hey, Lizzie," she said with a smile, but then turned her attention to her girlfriend. "Urg, you're not getting that mess, are you?"  
  
"It's unanimous. The blue one it is."  
  
"Wait, I didn't get to see it!" Brenda protested as Miranda went back into her dressing room.  
  
Lizzie mustered up her courage. "Don't worry, the blue one is cute."  
  
Brenda smiled. "Well, if you say so, I trust her. Oh, your dress is so cute!" With that, Brenda left the dressing room area.  
  
Lizzie was taken back. Was that a diss? Come on, Maguire, you're getting paranoid. She was trying to be nice! Lizzie sighed and went back to the dressing room. It didn't matter. For too short of a time, she and Miranda had felt like best friends again. But now, they were back to where they had been...  
  
Read and review, thanks! 


	8. The Truth

Part Eight:  
  
Miranda couldn't stop thinking about her conversation with Lizzie. Even though it had only been about dresses, it had felt like old times.  
  
Maybe I should tell her and Gordo the truth, she thought. After all, they used to tell each other everything.  
  
But things have changed, another part of her thought. We're not best friends anymore. Thinking the words sent a pain through her. We're not even really friends anymore...  
  
Brenda and Miranda had decided to go out to dinner with their dates, double up. Luckily for the girls, the boys spent the whole time talking about some dumb video game, so they managed to talk and have a good time.  
  
But at the dance, that changed.  
  
After the couples had their pictures taken, Brenda and Miranda decided to get theirs done. But the photographer told them, "Couples only!" But we are a couple! Miranda thought sadly. If they only knew...  
  
When the slow dances began, Brenda danced with Tudgeman. Miranda, reluctantly, danced the first couple of songs with Cody, but when the third came on, she said she had to go to the bathroom and bolted.  
  
In the bathroom, who did she find once again but Lizzie.  
  
"Oh!" Lizzie said in surprise as Miranda burst in. She was reapplying her eyeliner. "Hey, Miranda! Having a good time?"  
  
"Um...yeah," she lied, standing next to her to look in the mirror. "Great."  
  
"Poor Gordo, he's not exactly the best dancer in the school," Lizzie sighed. "But then again, nobody's perfect."  
  
"Hey, remember the time that he took us to the lounge dance?" Miranda couldn't help spitting out. "He wasn't so bad of a dancer then."  
  
"Yeah, but that was to his own music. He just know how to handle the current stuff, you know?" Miranda nodded in agreement, and pretended to be very interested in a "zit" above her left eyebrow.  
  
Lizzie didn't want to leave quite yet, so she put her eyeliner away and grabbed out her lipliner. "So...what's the deal with Brenda going with Tudgeman?"  
  
"Um, well, you know...she kinda felt bad for him, so when he asked her, she accepted." Miranda wanted to tell the truth, so bad, but she couldn't.  
  
Lizzie nodded thoughtfully. "That's so nice of her."  
  
"Yeah. She's one of the few people that doesn't treat Tudgeman like a freak."  
  
"Remember that party?" Lizzie asked suddenly. "He wasn't so bad then."  
  
Miranda sighed at the memory. Tudgeman had looked really cute...but she hadn't been attracted to him. I hope he doesn't think that's his fault, she thought. I am a lesbian, after all...  
  
She looked into Lizzie's eyes. I have to tell her, she decided. I have to have my friends back.  
  
"Hey, Lizzie?"  
  
"Um...yeah?"   
  
"Could you go find Gordo? And meet me in five minutes by the gym storage room?" Lizzie frowned, curious. "There's something I have to tell you guys."  
  
"Um...sure. Five minutes." Lizzie left right away, wondering what Miranda could want.  
  
Miranda, meanwhile, went to go find Brenda. She found her at the refreshment table, searching through the cooler for a Diet Coke. "Hey, Mira!" she exclaimed at the sight of her girlfriend. "Man, is this dance fun or what?"  
  
"Yeah," Miranda agreed. "Listen, Brenda...I have to tell them."  
  
"Tell who? What?" Then Brenda realized. She frowned. "You wanna tell Gordo and Lizzie about...us?"  
  
Miranda nodded. "I miss them, Brenda. They've been my friends for...as long as I can remember, you know? And they wouldn't reject us, I'm sure of it! And if they did," Miranda added, praying they wouldn't, "at least I would know who my real friends are."  
  
Brenda, to Miranda's surprise, nodded. "Okay."  
  
"Come on. I told them to meet us by the gym storage room. Let's go." Brenda hadn't counted on being there for the confession, but she went along.  
  
Miranda and Brenda found Lizzie and Gordo, waiting. Miranda burst out, "You guys, I've missed you so much. I know that you guys, especially Lizzie," she couldn't help added, "have felt threatened by Brenda..."  
  
"I-"  
  
"No, Lizzie, just let me finish," Miranda said quickly. She took a deep breath and slowed down. "But you guys don't have to worry. Brenda is not my new best friend..." She took a deep breath.  
  
"She's my girlfriend."  
  
Lizzie actually gasped, and Gordo's eyes got huge. "G-girlfriend?" Lizzie sputtered. "Like...like, going out? Lesbians?" Miranda nodded grimly.  
  
"Wow," Gordo said. "I mean, I never would've thought..."  
  
Brenda didn't seem to know what to do. She wouldn't look at anyone, just at the floor.  
  
"Do you...do you guys hate me?" Miranda asked after a minute of silence.  
  
Lizzie burst into tears and hugged her best friend. "No! I could never hate you!" She turned to hug Brenda, too, and Gordo hugged Miranda. "Brenda, I thought you were trying to steal my best friend from me..."  
  
Brenda shook her head. "I don't know how I could, you guys are so close."  
  
Lizzie laughed through her tears. "So...I feel so much better now."  
  
"You do?" Gordo asked, shocked. All the girls turned to him, surprised. He explained, "If anything, I feel more akward then ever..."  
  
"Ignore him, the boy ain't right," Lizzie said, rolling her eyes. She turned to Miranda. "It'll take some getting used to...but if it makes you happy, Miranda..."  
  
Miranda grinned. "It does, Lizzie. It really does." She hugged her girlfriend. "Brenda, you make me so happy. And now I have my friends back..." Hugs all around.  
  
Lizzie no longer felt like an outsider around Brenda, and Brenda was now a part of their group. The best of times had arrived...  
  
Too bad they never last. 


	9. Wasting Away

Part Nine:  
  
Miranda was blind to the changes. But Lizzie and Gordo could see what was going on, as could nearly everyone eles: Brenda was wasting away.  
  
Over the next month, Brenda's eatting was out of control. She never ate lunch, and tried to distract her girlfriend and friends from this fact by keeping up a happy front and cheerful conversation. But it didn't work.  
  
Sometimes Brenda would get so weak that she would collapse in the hall. She would laugh it off as Miranda helped her up: "Damn period" or "I guess I'm coming down with that flu, eh?" Miranda fell for every excuse that Brenda gave her, while everyone eles whispered about it amoungst themselves.  
  
Lizzie and Gordo wanted to say something, but Miranda was as happy as they'd ever seen her: clearly, she was falling hard for Brenda, and with her friends back, everything seemed perfect. But they also remembered the time Miranda had been starving herself, and they knew that Brenda's problem was even more serious.  
  
It was gym class where everything came to a head. It was a cold Febuary morning, just a few days before Valentine's Day and the dance. Brenda and Miranda were planning on going together, and they decided to no longer be ashamed that they were a couple. Even if Kate or Claire started in on them, they wouldn't pay any attention.  
  
But in class that day, they were running laps for a "fitness test". The class finished it's tenth when Brenda fell to her knees.  
  
"Brenda!" Miranda doubled back and grabbed her girlfriend's arm. "Are you alright?"  
  
"Yeah," Brenda said weakly, clutching her head. "I just need to sit down for a second..."  
  
Miranda helped Brenda towards the bleachers as everyone stared. But before they could reach them, Brenda grabbed Miranda's arm and collapsed again, this time unconsious.  
  
"Someone help me!" Miranda called, and Gordo and Lizzie helped Miranda drag Brenda to the nurse's office. They put her on a bed and the nurse shooed them away. "Get back to class, you three."  
  
As they walked down the hall, Miranda was worried. "I don't know what's been up with her lately. She's been so weak all the time, and..."  
  
"Miranda?" Lizzie said carefully. "We think we know the problem. You see..."  
  
"Brenda never eats," Gordo cut in bluntly. "Miranda, Brenda has an eatting disorder."  
  
"She...no." But Miranda could no longer deny it. She'd been worried about Brenda ever since that night after the concert, and now she had gotten worse. "I should've seen it," she whispered.  
  
"It's not your fault, Miranda," Lizzie said, putting her arm around her friend's shoulder.  
  
"I'm sure she'll be okay," Gordo said, although he wasn't really sure.  
  
There were rumors flying around school by lunch: that Brenda had had a heart attack in gym, and that an ambulence came to pick her up. The three of them knew that the latter was true: they'd seen an ambulence outside the school from the window of the English classroom. Miranda was in tears by lunch.  
  
That night, Miranda tried to call Brenda's house, but nobody was home. She left a message on the answering machine: "Brenda, it's Mira. Call me when you...when you're avaliable. See ya."  
  
Brenda didn't call. And she wasn't at school the next day. Lizzie and Gordo thought that poor Miranda was going to break down.  
  
Miranda worried all day, was sure that she failed an important history test, and didn't eat anything at lunch at all...until she remembered how Brenda hadn't been eatting, and began to gorge on fries and ice cream bars.  
  
That night, Lizzie and Gordo were at Miranda's house, for moral support. Whenever the phone rang, Miranda would pounce...but it was never Brenda.  
  
Until late.  
  
Lizzie and Gordo were about to leave at 10, when the phone rang again. Miranda jumped for it. "Hello?"  
  
"Mira?"  
  
"Brenda! Are you okay?"  
  
"I...I think so..." Miranda could hear that Brenda's voice was choked up.  
  
Lizzie, sensing trouble, nudged Gordo, and they started to leave. But Miranda held up a hand for them to stay as Brenda continued: "I have to go away for awhile, Mira..."  
  
"Where?"  
  
"I...they said I have an eatting disorder." Brenda began to sob, and Miranda felt her eyes fill with tears. "They're making me go to the hospital. Isn't that crazy?" Brenda gave a small laugh through her tears.  
  
"Well...maybe it's for the best."  
  
"What?" Brenda was confused: out of anyone, Mira would've been the one to offer her support. "What do you mean?"  
  
"I mean...you never eat, Bren-"  
  
"Just because I don't pig out in front of everyone, doesn't mean I have an eatting disorder or anything!"  
  
Miranda bit her lip. "I just...I'm worried..."  
  
"Whatever, Mira. I thought you cared about me. I guess you don't care about me going to the hospital." Brenda's tone was cold but definatly not calm.  
  
"Brenda, that's not it, it's just-"  
  
"Whatever, Mira," Brenda said again, then hung up. Miranda stared at the receiver, then tried to call Brenda back. The line was always busy. She slammed the phone down and started to sob.  
  
Lizzie and Gordo formed a big hug around Miranda, who sobbed and clung to them. Her best friends, all she had left...  
  
**************  
  
Don't worry, readers, there's more. This isn't the end. 


	10. Goodbye

Part Ten:   
  
Miranda lay awake in bed that night, feeling more depressed then she'd ever felt in her life. She thought she heard a tap at the window...just a branch, she told herself.  
  
But the taps became more frequent. Finally, after about ten taps, Miranda went to the window and looked down...  
  
And saw Brenda standing in her yard.   
  
Miranda opened the window. "Mira, get your ass down here!" Brenda commanded. Miranda snuck out the back door and met Brenda in the yard.  
  
"Brenda, I-"  
  
Brenda pulled her girlfriend in a tight hug, sobbing. "Oh, God, Mira! I'm so sorry! I can't believe I said that to you!" Miranda wasn't sure what to say. Brenda pulled away and looked into her girlfriend's eyes. "So...do you want me to tell you what's been going on?"  
  
"Yeah, okay..."  
  
They sat down on Miranda's back porch, and Brenda launched into her story: "I guess it began when my dad got sick...a couple of years ago. I wasn't really sure what to do, you know? I didn't know how to deal." She looked at Miranda, who just blinked, and she continued, "Well, I was a little overweight at the time, and...I guess I took my frustration and stuff out on that."  
  
Miranda could understand that. She remembered being under pressure, and trying to deal with it with a "diet". But she also knew that Brenda's was a lot more serious.  
  
"It was under control...at first. My mom and brother didn't really notice my weight change, since they were busy taking care of Dad. I was getting worse and worse, and nobody even noticed." Tears filled her eyes. "Mostly I starved myself, but sometimes I threw up."  
  
Miranda took her hand and squeezed it. Brenda gave her a weak smile. "After my dad died, and we moved here, it just got worse. I...I'm really sick, Mira. If I don't get help, I could die."  
  
"I'm so sorry that this all happened to you," Miranda croaked out. Her throat felt blocked. "I want you to get the help you need. But I'm really going to miss you."  
  
"If I get better fast, I should be back by the end of the school year," Brenda said, hope sparking in her eyes. "I don't wanna leave you, though..."  
  
"I'll write to you everyday. I promise."  
  
"You'll wait for me?" Brenda couldn't seem to believe it.  
  
Miranda rolled her eyes. "Who eles am I gonna go out with? Lizzie?" Brenda laughed, and they hugged.  
  
Brenda stood up. "My mom knows that I came, but she said I couldn't be gone for too long. I'll...I'll call you before I leave."  
  
"Okay." Miranda stood up, and they kissed.   
  
Brenda frowned. "Shit. I'm gonna have to take out my tongue ring." Miranda laughed, and offered to pay for her to get it repierced when she recovered. Brenda pulled her into one last hug. "I love you, Mira."  
  
"I love you, too, Brenda."  
  
Brenda smiled weakly again, and walked away. Miranda watched as her blue-haired girlfriend disapeared into the darkness of the cold Febuary night. "Goodbye, Brenda Blue," she whispered.  
  
The End.  
  
*Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed my story! If there's enough demand, I'll work on a sequal. Thanks again! 


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